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Friday, December 30, 2005
unwanted, misworded, mistimed Home
Posted at 12:14 PM by Aditya

my mama had come over, and was with us for the past three days. now, i don't need to begin telling you what exactly happens when someone in class 12 is surrounded by elders. yes, that happened to me too. most of the time which i spent with him, or in the company of my parents and him, the time was spent in giving me tips on career choice and how to study well, and effectively. the thing is not that i didn't want to hear all those things, because i definitely needed to hear them to set myself back on track for the boards. but this one is more about people who don't know what to say, and yet choose to say it.

unwanted advice
there are people everywhere who just love to give advice, wanted or not. and most of the time, these people are wrong and they just try to impose their way of thinking on you. they love to appear intellectual, philosophical and feeling. a show of how experienced and understand they are of the other's sentiments and difficulties. the perfect people to stay away from. i've had my share of them and believe me, they are not pleasant to hang around!

misworded advice
sometimes, what is said to you is not worded the way it should be and hence, it ends up being accepted the wrong way. this is not just with advice, but a lot of things. just a general conversation, if not said the right way, can really change the complete meaning of what is being told. just last night someone said something to me which, if worded appropriately, i would have heard it better and accepted it easier, rather than take offence to it for sometime and lose a good part of my sleep over it. it wasn't the persons fault, just a lack of communication i guess. but look for it, this happens quite a lot of times. mostly with people who are not used to giving advice to people.

mistimed advice
sometimes the words and sentiments are correct and appropriate, but the time isn't. you don't advice someone who has failed miserably after working a lot to achieve something they wanted to. thats a prime example of what not to do. some people screw up here. make sure the person is in a state of mind and comprehension where they can fully appreciate and understand what you are trying to tell them. it might take some time, but a mistimed advice is the worst that can affect someone. i know a friendship which broke up because of this ... but thankfully, they are back. don't let it happen to you.

there are some who think that they can advice people on anything, and that others look to them when things get rough. this is a very wrong notion. just because a few people begin to trust you, and tell you things which are important to them, doesn't mean that you are advice columnist material. a lot of it has to do with what you do with the knowledge that you get of the person's life, and how you incorporate that as an experience so that you can help yourself and others.

not everyone can give advices, and make sure you can before you try to ... you might end up screwing up someone's life if you don't get it right!

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