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Tuesday, January 03, 2006
compatibility and people Home
Posted at 9:33 AM by Aditya

how many times have you heard the phrase, maybe we aren't that compatible or maybe we weren't meant to be? sound very familiar don't they? well, even they don't, it won't be too long before you do. people more often than not give a similar reason for not being able to keep a friend, or losing a friend, or something on the same lines. they just blame it on the psychology and say that they weren't meant to be together, so they couldn't ... now, does that make any tangible pragmatic sense?

it is a known fact that the best of friends first started out as complete strangers. they didn't even know that the other existed. every friendship needs time and care to build up, it can't be done in a day or a week or a month. it takes years to build a strong and comfortable friendship. only after you see hardships and the good times with a friend, will you truly know how much you mean to each other. a lot of friendships were made and broken after these tests. they are bad, i know, but they are the only true test of a friend. anyway, as i was saying ... people can't be compatible with each other by birth. i mean, i for one don't believe in the fact that there is one made for everyone. honestly speaking, if that was the case, then the man to woman ration would have been 1:1, which it isn't - so that theory goes out of the picture. neither do i say that pack your bags, wear your hiking cap and shoes and walk out that door with a tagboard that says 'will you make friendship with me!' ... haha! sorry! but yea, something like that! you can't do either. you can't sit at home and wait for someone to knock on your door and take you by your hand to the nearby fair, then a dinner and in short, try to be your friend. please, people have a lot of things to do, you're lower than casual priority for them!

so, how do go about finding and keeping that one true friend...?

honestly speaking, there is no set formula. we're dealing with live people here man, be real! people aren't mathematical variables, they are complex probability expressions, whose accuracy is only decided by the number of variables you put in them. you can't make someone your friend ... you have to learn to know the person, learn to care and love them, and by the end of all the time you spend with them, you'll realise yourself whether you/they are a friend or not. however, the time taken to get that realisation is variable from people to people. with some, a months time is enough, but with others a decade might not be... you can't have your cake and eat it to you know!

but once you get your friend, and you realise that its that deep friendship that you've been looking for, take it as your own responsibility to maintain it, and keep it up! every relationship takes a certain amount of work to go with it, adn friendship is really no different. its easy to make a friend, but hard to maintain it! (and we all just saw how easy it is to make one in the first place).

so, no excuses now! you know the rule ... with friends, just follow your heart! :)

edit: the friendship i'm talking about here is the 'best' kind, not a frivolous, casual one! this friendship is not to be confused with love, which is much more intense and full of many responsibilities! (thanks sonali for pointing out the alternate p.o.v)

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